DAY 14: CRUISING THROUGH DAZZLING DETOX

Sunday mornings are for waking up late and relaxing with the NYT (don't touch my crossword puzzle. please.) and Peets, going out for a nice brunch with bloody marys (extra horseradish!), and maybe a run or hike at the beach. Now back to our regularly scheduled program ...

We did wake up late, if by late you mean 6:45am. L tried to let me sleep in (thank you for the thought) but with the yogi oh movie (or whatever those japanese playing cards are called) blaring from Z's room, dewey's ansy "I need to go out" dance and the mere fact that I can't go back to sleep once I'm up, I found myself mapping out the day in my head. The gf pancake mix was front and center as I think my body is craving for some substance. L brought in the lw (lemon water) ... and followed up with what I thought was teeccino until I saw the twinkle in her eye. "I mixed it with Peets." My mind said "no", but my body said "ooh yes" (hmmm. now why does that feeling seem so familiar??). This was a special Sunday treat. Buzz. Check.

I made the first batch of pancakes with Z as my sous (so what's wrong with a little eggshell crunch amongst family?). I gave him two with some syrup (only real maple in our house) and gave L and myself one. All I can say is there was a second batch quickly whipped up on the heels of the first. Outstanding. I had mine with nf plain yogurt and bananas. Next time I will add some chopped almonds! L had hers with honey and bananas. With a sparkle in her eye (might have been residual from the brewed combo but I'm convinced it's attributed to the golden cakes!), L said these were worth every penny. Now if only the Griddle could offer gf cakes ...

I went to the gym (not a typo) with Z (he goes to kid's club for his "muscles") and actually did weights and cardio. Almost felt heroic. Afterwards, we raced home as I had a showing and an open house. Of course, I forgot I needed food so L and I threw a cold turkey burger, hb egg and a banana into my bag. I was beyond hungry (can you say crank monster?!!) by the time I was able to eat around 1:30pm and the growling didn't help (and it wasn't coming from my tummy!). The demon was also calmed with some hot tea and the super bowl (no, I am NOT one of those football girls, it was on for the "guests"). Not too shabby environs if you have to work! A buyer came through the house and we were chatting about the detox to which he said "you don't need a diet". Doesn't that mean it's working! Bingo!

Had a snack upon arriving home of rice crackers with the never ending tub o' hummus (which we did finally put to rest) and watched the remainder of the game while doing the NYT puzzle (my addiction). L and Z went to Home Depot (is there a better time to go than when every HD junkie and his/her mother is in front of the tube watching men with tight asses be obsessed with a ball). She did report back that there were a gaggle of nuns (I'm sure that is the right vernacular) exiting with plants in tow. They are dialed in for sure!

While I love to cook, I'm starting to feel a little too much at one with the "kitchen" (is barefoot and pregnant far behind?) so need to address making larger quantities in advance. I threw together a stir fry with kale, spinach, onions, garlic, broccoli and chicken, spiced with thyme and cayenne over brown rice. Finding I like the taste and texture of the basmati over the long grain if anyone is interested. I don't think L was impressed with the dining experience as I saw her eyeing Z's dinos. Or perhaps she was just glazed over from the day's mommy duties. I offered vodka as a consolation prize but I think an hour of reflexology would have elicited a better reception. We are still alcohol free. Stunning. In every way.

My metabolism continues to streamline and like clockwork, I was hungry again at 10pm. Went into the kitchen and made the yogurt concoction, mine with added soy nuts for some extra pizazz.

I'm not missing very much at the moment. Feeling clearer and cleaner, whether real or imaginary (I think I can, I think I can ...).

DAY 13: DETOX OVERLOAD

Oh how time flies! Day 13 is upon us and apparently the glow is starting to rear its toxin-free head. Started as usual ... EARLY (you know it's early when sesame street hasn't even started yet!). I took one look at L and knew that coffee would be needed (and discussed), the real stuff that's grown in places like Columbia and Costa Rica. And then shipped to Peets where they roast the beans to perfection before freshly grinding them for our little pound of pure heaven. No. We don't wake up to that now. We stay comatose to the chickory, barley blend masquerading in our brewmaster, which seems to know it's spewing out an imposter, pleading with me to reach for the other bag as if I'm contaminating it (and why I ask myself does that "other" magic brown bag remain in its prominent place on the countertop?). And why you might ask am I talking to my appliances? In the least, I should have a vodka before a full on conversation.

So breakfast was the standard yogurt ala no glucose substances, eaten mostly standing up and running out the door. I'm sure the good doc would not approve but real life just doesn't allow for seated dining in a tightly scheduled morning. Off to the office and the Mac store for repairs. That's an experience to behold. Apple on a weekend. Are we all kicking ourselves that we didn't see this coming 15 or 20 years ago?? It's a virtual candy store with stellar service. I bow to them. And to think I was a PC for all these years. A true regret. Now ... if only the iphone weren't at ATT we'd be totally synched!

We snacked on crunchy green beans from TJs on the way to a birthday party for a friend of Z's (who asked from the backseat "are those on your diet"? Scary.). There were a number, let's just say 25 for a nice round number, of other 4-5 year olds in a very active fun house kind of place. Think jumpy house and a rope climb to a tunnel slide (I had to do the first time with Z and had a claustrophobic attack that paralyzed me in the enclosed slide. I had to be talked down by a sympathetic mommy. Having palpatations just writing about it!) that delivers you to a large pool filled with balls that you can jump into ... or throw at your mommy. I was overstimulated so I can only imagine how the kids felt! Of course, L and I could only drink water as there was pizza and cake and powder doughnuts, which reminded me of a bad late 70's krispy kreme nightmare in Birmingham (as in Alabama). Need I say more? Not a good day for detoxing and by the time we got our semi-glow selves out of there we were a bit worse for wear. Just plain cranky. Raced home to leftover dal mix from last night with rice and leftover quinoa from the other night (starting to see a pattern here?). I also whipped up a little green salad for some fiberous crunch. Always with fresh lemon and evoo (extra virgin olive oil), just the way L likes it.

I can't remember if I snacked but I think nothing more than a couple of carrots between lunch and dinner. I went grocery shopping while z napped. Bad idea. Kind of like the birthday party but with adults. Did I remember it was the day before the super bowl? Not a chance. I could hear what everyone was making as I made my way through the throngs. Nachos, chili, "the little hot dog things", more chili (is that some sort of bowl tradition??), burgers, and ice cream (LOTS of ice cream and why was I on THAT aisle? A girl can dream ...). I was successful while I dodged carts in getting gluten free oatmeal (you think it already is right? but it's grown next to wheat and gluten crops so it gets gluten from nearby ... but Bobs Mills and some other cos grow their oats separately (free range if you will) and undergo tedious testing to ensure the product is gf. learn something new every day.) and gf pancake mix (they say on the bag that they will be "fluffy" so I'm a believer). And 300 bananas. Forgot the grapefruit for the liver detox. Oops.

Dinner was turkey burgers by request (I take them occasionally :)) and my famous "monster mash" (called such because I started making it around halloween so Z and I made up the name to go with the song): pureed steamed cauliflower in the blender (or cuisinart) with chicken stock and then s&p to taste. I also make it sometimes with lf milk. And maybe I will try rice milk next time. It's just like mashed potatoes is the point. Delish. And we had a small salad with fresh mozzarella (gotta have some real cheese once in a while).

My stomach is growling at 10:30pm AGAIN. What's up with that? My metabolism is just zooming along. And L told me my skin looks good (was it bad before?) and "those sweats were a little tighter before" (she probably said they are looser now but that's of course not how I "heard" it). We came this close to having a vodka tonight--I even put the bottle on the counter next to 2 glasses which seemed to be enough for us. I see a little slip on the horizon which the doc says is okay as long as you get back on the detox wagon. Giddy up.

DAY 12: UNEVENTFUL DAY OF DETOX

The morning was the usual fare: Z, lemon water, teeccino, egg white burritos with avo and goat cheese. Pouring rain and cold. Not feeling the glow this morning. Worked from home this morning so had lots of tea and water.

For lunch, we had leftover pasta (yummy) and soup. I also had 1/2 a baked sweet potato, which felt like cheating. I read today about the liver detox mixture Dr. Joshi recommends: grapefruit and lemon juice, olive oil, garlic and ginger all blended. Can't wait. Not.

I devoured 2 rows of the rice crackers (not the styrofoam ones but the real crackers) as a snack and a few soy nuts with almonds. Just depressing with the weather so stayed in and played with Z after school. Decided to cook dinner early since I'm obsessed with the menu. I soaked some mung beans overnight and then cooked them with lentils. I added sauteed onions, garlic and ginger and we loved it over the brown rice. Made a green salad with lemon and evoo. L mentioned she wanted a glass of wine. Could have had it but why enjoy ourselves when we are committed to being cranky?!

Low energy today could be weather related or maybe I need to have honey or something to rev it up a few notches. Will try that because I need to drag my butt to the gym! That's for the toxin release and my own high. Meanwhile I haven't weighed myself, but clearly I've lost a few lbs. I'm learning a lot about myself. I think the detox has helped with my patience as I'm not as quick to react negatively. Getting the swing and I think the next leg of the diet will be a breeze. Missing coffee big time though.

DAY 11: STARTING TO GET THE GROOVE

We got to sleep in this morning until 7:30 (thank you z!). Made the usual lemon water and put on the coffee (sub)--just the process of filling the carafe with filtered water gave me a jolt! And today I figured out the proportions (desperate measures) so much so that if I didn't have such a discriminating palate, I would think I'm drinking coffee from some mediocre diner. Heaven. Breakfast was on the fly so the usual cereal mix, bananas and soy/rice milk. Z even had soy milk (granted it was vanilla) and never uttered a peep (about the soy anyway).

Discovering that I have to pack snacks not just for Z but also for L. Admittedly, it's tough to figure out what to eat. It's a continuous struggle. You go to the refrigerator, first line of attack, and stand there for minutes, door open, looking at everything but nothing pops or you just can't eat it. Then to the pantry where the experience is less chilly but results in the same frustration. At this point, your blood sugar is low and you are going to eat, horrors, almonds yet again. Hence a snack pack for L. Okay, so today it was almonds but I threw in some soy nuts as a surprise. Wacky.

We went to LACMA today, my first time since the Broad was built. Shame on me! L bought a membership to support the arts and off we went to see Koons, Johns, Warhol, Beuys (ok I'd never heard of him until today), Serra ... the big guns. Disappointed that the second floor was undergoing remodeling so missed quite a bit but it still felt uber satisfying. The building itself, designed by Renzo Piano, is amazing. And the coffee ... did I say that out loud?? Oops. We fell off the wagon a wee bit with a double soy latte. One must be alert to fully appreciate the art and the artist. And as L said, it is hump day after all (in our insular detox world).

Post the "falling" we went to M Cafe for a tasty lunch treat. It's macrobiotic ... in an amazing foodie kind of way. We had garden and salmon rolls sushi (there were 2 before the pic. L.) and the chopped salad with tofu dressing. Okay so there's a little apple cider vinegar in it. I had them show me the ingredients from the secret bound recipe notebook which I wanted to grab (if by grab one means "steal"). Sue me. Coffee and vinegar in the same day. Still a champion detoxer!



There was no snacking between lunch and dinner since dinner basically came on the heels of lunch. We had an appointment early evening and Z had to eat too so just made it all at once. And of course we were hungry because NOTHING seems to fill us up. And it's not because we are so "efficient" either! But tonight was different (why is tonight different from all other nights? look it up, people, it's part of passover!) because we actually were full. I made the leftover broccoli/pea/arugula soup and brown rice pasta with chicken, thyme, parsley, red chard, garlic, onion, chicken stock and olive oil. It was scrumptious (as z would say)! He didn't even eat his pizza but had some pasta instead! We even shared some with the sitter (which was hard to part with considering tomorrow's grazing factor) and she loved it ... or said she did anyway as we forced it upon her!

No workout today but making a commitment to be better. Not sure if it's an energy thing, psychological or what but it's just hard to get to the gym (or the garage :)). Need to release the toxins for the glow. Mantra. Ommmm.

DAY 10: GOING HUNGRY

The morning was early per usual but I had a mission to accomplish--a friend told me about teechino, a coffee substitute. Granted we can't have the vanilla or hazelnut but on my quick run to WF (which opens at 7am btw!! who knew?) there was the perfect answer for us. Most importantly, I got to dust off the beautiful coffee maker and perform the daily ritual. All about the process! We liked it okay (it's not Peet's) with the soy milk. I think we had put the little bag on a pedestal and although it disappointed us a bit, we now have a peets sub. Thank goodness because we are going to try to stay off the java post detox. Scary. I made breakfast burritos with egg whites, scallions and goat cheese. And a little cheat with avos, I think. Then detox list says no avos but you can have guacamole. Makes no sense. Maybe we can have wine but no grapes?!!

Not exactly bounding with energy today. Forgot to bring a snack when I left the house for work and didn't get home until after 2pm. Inhaled 2 rice cakes with hummus and a banana. Not exactly gourmet but did the trick. L only had almonds while she was out all day with Z. Never a good idea! I worked out on the Octane in the garage. What a treat to have her so close!

For dinner, I made the broccoli and arugula soup I saw on Gwyneth's blog (my new bff). I added peas and used veggie stock instead of water and added the lemon in the bowls. I made organic quinoa with turmeric and curry and served it with fried tofu. It was all delish. Might need a nosh of something tonight. I'm like a human sieve, this diet just doesn't seem to keep me sated.

Opted out of the snack. Just too exhausted to deal with the kitchen. And prep. Time is crawling along but we're almost half way there! Still the glow eludes me ...

DAY 9: CAN YOU SAY "LEAN MACHINE"?

Woke up a bit later this morning and even though the patter and the barking were ever-present, the edginess wasn't. I feel good and more alert. L said I look leaner which is happening with minimal workouts. No mention of a glow. Almost halfway through the detox and no glow? What a ripoff!

Had the soy milk with cereal yet again (L was living on the edge with rice milk) ... so the breakfasts are not so jazzy unless I make eggs. Maybe breakfast burritos tomorrow.

Had clients and caravan today with only a handful of almonds. Not at my best when I'm hungry. A bit cranky, you might say, as I was running through a $23M estate in BH. Agents used to serve food. No wonder the market isn't humming! Made it home without incident to make our grilled chicken, arugula and fresh mozzarella sandwiches. Not very flavorful without mustard. I'm a condiment queen! Chips are just a vehicle for the salsa. I like lots of sauce. Mmmmm ... I want something smothered in sauce. LIke enchiladas. Or eggplant parmigiana.

Needed a coffee around 4pm today around the time of our office meeting. Coincidence? And what about those chocolate covered strawberries that escrow sends every Tuesday? Saboteurs.

We had our first friend over for dinner since the detox. She seemed to enjoy the limited menu: almond crusted tilapia, brown rice and steamed asparagus with lemon. I really wanted a glass of wine at the beginning of the night, but the feeling passed. Personally, I was starving after dinner and came to learn that L was too (after H left). We had to have what's become our nightly indulgence, the yogurt banana almond parfait. I've been on the detox long enough that I feel similar guilt as when I eat a pint of Vanilla Swiss Almond! (that's not a misprint, I wrote "pint"). That's just wrong. Doesn't really matter since L is still talking about going to the colonic capital of the world--Santa Monica--and extracting everything I've consumed since I was 12yo! Might as well have Haagen Dazs.

Clearly, I need to add some interesting soups, rice noodles, sweet potatoes and other delectables to the menu. We are getting bored. Time to step it up a notch.

I still miss popcorn. That will be my first order of business on day 22. With a movie.

DAY 8: ARE YOU SURE VODKA ISN'T GLUTEN FREE?

Awoke to the usual pitter patter of stomping feet, dog barking and overall 6:30am mayhem. And you would think a little hot water with lemon would be just the thing to calm one down ... and you would be wrong. What you need is a cup of g**#*#& coffee!! But I'm fine and the morning was over in a snap. Uneventful bowl of soy milk (with added calcium and vitamins of course) with gluten free granola (yep--tastes and chews as good as it sounds), bananas, diced almonds (thank goodness for these little gems!) and puffed styrofoam, I mean brown rice.

I snacked on another banana and some almonds at the office where in my desk sits a teasing jar of jellybeans. When I open the drawer I swear I hear "eat me". Little devils. Hateful.

I come home for lunch and fix us a salad with the still delectable roasted chicken. I eat more almonds in the car when I pick up Z from school and take him to his afternoon date (note to self: do not keep a full bag of almonds in the car!).

Had some challenges today ... and wondered aloud why I chose to be free of caffeine and alcohol at the same time! Where's the f*en glow people?? Now the leg pain is gone and I'm breaking out. I'm beginning to think my body liked my old diet and is rebelling against this faddy english doctor bs. No, really, I'm fine.

Dinner was turkey burgers with just s&p and thyme with a side of fried rice that had some broccoli, spinach, carrots, onion and fresh ginger. Not pretty (hence no pics) but yummy! Wanted ketchup and looked longingly as Z dipped each piece of his burger into the glistening red dollop.

Going to TJs for a late night emergency--we have run out of bananas. Horrors. Might make my new concoction of yogurt with bananas and almonds. Yogurt is the new Haagen Dazs, next on Oprah. Seriously. I'm in need of a martini.